Letters to my younger self
Nina felt like a mixed bag of emotions.
Confused & Pained.
Mostly angered at how her own mother didn't get her.
It just was plain unfair for mother to be this strict.
It was not her fault that she didn't get her.
Nina blamed it on the generation gap. She did not want to pretend to live the miss goody two shoes life any more.
It was stifling her and so, she did the unthinkable.
Her act of defiance against mother.
In a rush of raging hormones. And anger.
Many years later, this act of defiance would come to be called as the ice bucket challenge – a self-inflicted body numbing act out of free will, mostly done to be popular while showing solidarity to a noble cause.
In Nina's case, she plainly wanted to declare her free will by pouring an ice cold tumbler of water onto mother. She wanted mother to feel her anger.
Nina shifted in her bed wondering if she was slapped in response?
She couldn't remember.
She turned the page in her diary...
"But one thing I remember, to this day, was the sadness on her face. The raging hormones didn’t last but the regret does. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach to have inflicted an emotional insult to my creator, my version of God, my mother. My best friend for life with whom countless memories would be made. My partner in crime and my best vacation buddy. She would not say no to any of my demands & make herself available at my command. As time passed, she would be my biggest supporter for all life decisions. Some of which the best of friends would not understand. The generation gap will seal a bond of love unique to just two of us. Not to be shared with any of the siblings. My younger self, don’t be angry with her – she is the wind beneath your wings"
Comments